It probably comes as no surprise that when it comes to parenting there are A LOT of opinions. This especially holds true when it comes to screen time. This past week I’ve been reading The Art of Screen Time by Anya Kamenetz and read a particularly interesting section about screen use at home and how families navigate these waters. She online surveyed around 500 people about the rules and limitations they put on screen time for their kids. What she found was that most parents set screen rules by either time (how many hours/minutes), occasion (which days of the week or times during the day?) , priority (no tech until _____ gets done), content (what they can/cannot use the device for), convenience (to free up your own schedule), and emotion (setting limits when kids show negative emotions after engaging with media).
One of the things I found interesting was the differences between age groups. From her survey she found the younger children were, the more time was used as a restriction and limit. For example, the child would be allowed 1 hour of screen time a day, or they would have three 30 min tokens they could spend throughout the day. Once kids hit their teen years, parents seemed to care less about how much time they were spending on screens, but rather what they were using them for. A lot of parents who let their kids engage with social media required to have the passwords and created a culture in their family that the parents would be granted access to their account or device whenever they wanted.
Where do I fall on this? I don’t have any children yet, so I’m cautiously sharing my opinions here. I don’t believe there is a magic number or formula that dictates how much screen time is too much. With respect to creating rules and limits, I also think that what works well for one child or family, might not work well for another family. With that said, I think my ultimate goal would be to help create an environment where I can support my child in learning how to self-regulate their use of devices. This could start as conversations about where I would start to have them think critically about how they are using their devices (e.g., Games? To participate? To create?). I would also be cautious of red flags in behavior. What happens when the screen is taken away? Is it a full on meltdown? If so, that’s something we would have to talk about. I would also censor, the best I could, what shows and media my kids are being exposed to. As my children get older, there would be more self-regulation and more critical conversations that take place. I think for parents of teens the internet can feel like a really scary place and I would have to agree. It doesn’t take much for a photo to get leaked or a post to be misunderstood before the whole thing blows up. Rather than being scared of this tho, again I would try to hold those critical conversations. What happens when you post a picture and you don’t turn on privacy settings so only your friends can view it? What are the benefits and what might the danger be? Snapchat videos and pictures are a really fun way to engage in story telling, but do they really ever go away? What happens when you add a boyfriend or girlfriend into the mix? Again, I think critical conversations are the key to navigating these waters.
Side note, if you do have kids, I would recommend this book. It’s easy to read and has some common sense ideas about digital media.